After I finished my last audition on Saturday, I was walking down 5th Avenue, headed to Penn Station for the train back to Baltimore. As I reached the intersection of 5th and 23rd, I glanced to my left –there, amongst thousands of tourist and natives, sat a homeless man, probably in his early sixties, not in full view of the passers-by. As I looked at him with his baseball cap, grey hair and sign that said something like, “Homeless Please Help,” I noticed he appeared to be crying, holding a handkerchief up to his face.

Perhaps it was his resemblance to my deceased father, who passed away in 1991 when I was 31 years old and the father of two young children, but something about him struck a nerve in me. This man undoubtedly has a story, a family, a past, and, however bleak, a future! He may be someone’s father, brother, uncle, ex-husband, former CEO, doctor, lawyer, minister – take your pick! What we know for sure is he’s someone’s son. Although he has no voice, no identity, no vote, no “horse in the race” or “skin in
the game,” what he has is a story! I just want to know his story and the stories of countless other millions like him on the street, on a park bench, at the mission for a hot meal and a good night’s sleep!

You see, when I was 31 and had those two small kids, my dad was homeless – my dad lived on that park bench. He died shortly after I did all I could to help. My dad had a story!

Bob Paff

So why do we stop so short of success? Fear, rejection, and intimidation are just a few of the many reasons. I’m a huge believer that all human behavior – business and personal – is rooted in the success or failure of the family origin. How were you treated by parents and siblings when you heard ‘Yes’ or ‘No,’ and what was your response? Next time you hear the answer ‘No,’ ask six more times and seek compromise. “I know you said ‘No,’ but is there a way to make this work? I would really like to do business with you…” My guess is you’ll get more than your fair share of ‘Yes’es!

Bob Paff

My friend Susan Purifoy sent me a little quote about the three reasons people “hate” (a strong word indeed): 1, they hate themselves, 2, they want to be like you, and 3, they want to hurt you! As an inspirational speaker, I try to find the good in everyone, the silver lining on every cloud, the light at the end of the tunnel! But sometimes, you just have to move on – clean house, thank them for their time, and wish them well. The relationship has exceeded its life expectancy – let it go!

Bob Paff

Allow me to encourage you to seek good service, good attitudes, good behavior. When you have a great meal in a restaurant, have your waiter bring the chef out to your table so you can compliment him/her. It’s a lonely, fast-paced job sending excellent meals out all night and not getting any reaction unless there’s a problem! Imagine giving gifts out all day, every day, and never hearing the words “thank you”! Think about the people who clean your house, your office, your garden. Yes, of course you pay them, but a reward does not always come in the form of money.

Maybe some of you have read Gary Chapman’s “The 5 Love Languages.” The same principles apply to those who give us excellent service! They seek recognition and deserve your feedback – otherwise, how can they improve or grow? Do we hold our children, loved ones, or employees accountable for things we don’t tell them how to do?

Here’s another benefit of celebrating a job well done: it makes it easier to give constructive criticism when the performance is not to your satisfaction. If you always give praise, you have raised the bar of expectation for future work. That person or establishment will not want to disappoint you, so they will raise their game and go out of their way to receive your praise. Pavlov would have defined this as a conditioned response. So, the next time someone – anyone – does something really good for you, tell them, thank them, or better yet… refer them!

Rarely, if ever, does life work out exactly as planned. As a matter of fact, one of the few things you can set your watch to is the ever-changing circumstances of life. We joke here in Maryland that if you don’t like the weather, stick around – it will change! Change is inevitable. We change jobs – seven times in a lifetime for the average person – we change spouses, cars, schools, houses, looks, weight, ideas, and values. I could go on, but you see what I’m saying. When such a change comes along, how do you process it? When life throws you a curveball, can you shift, pivot, and knock it out of the park? I love sports metaphors – they’re so great!

How will you, how do you, how will others handle the changes in your life? They will happen, for some way more than others. In the last two years, life as I always knew it has changed forever – one of my businesses, my marriage, the death of my brother, my home, my car, my children, my career, my ambition, my purpose – they all changed! Just like that, changed forever. While change is never easy, it need not be bad, immobilizing or complicated; one just needs to go deeper to understand the process, flow and direction of the change.

There is meaning and purpose behind everything that happens to us. Seek it out, embrace it, incorporate and celebrate it. Surround yourself with others who will do the same, and let go of the ones who can’t, or simply won’t accept the new direction, the new paradigm, the new geometrical figure the world has created for you. Benjamin Franklin said, “the only way out is through” – not around, under or over, but through. Sometimes the Circle of Life is a square!

Bob Paff

Get Empowered and informed with Bob’s Motivations, Inspirations, Advice and Updates

Byrne’s books certainly fall in the self-help/self-empowerment/self-discovery genre, with “The Secret” alone now available in 46 languages. The essence of her work is that the ability to have and experience an Amazing Life is available to all of us if we simply follow some basic steps. I say simple in terms of applicability, but we all know about the “common things not commonly done” concept. The ideas behind the achievement and fulfillment of this amazing life are not rooted in the hardcore disciplines of math or science, they require no advanced degrees, weekend retreats or painful surgery! Heck, you can participate without ever having taken a yoga class.

Given the millions who have read the books, I venture it’s a safe bet that one, two or a hundred of you reading this have indeed done so. But herein lies my question, my dilemma, perhaps my challenge. If you have read it or know the basic concept, have you implemented and incorporated these changes into your everyday life. If not, why not? In “The Power,” Byrne quotes one of my favorite sources of inspiration, Abraham Lincoln. He says, “To believe in the things you can see and touch is no belief at all. But to believe in the unseen is a triumph and a blessing.” That’s the focus of the piece.

Having lunch in Westchester, PA this week with a friend who works as a home shopping channel host, the topic of Byrne’s books came up. My friend is a firm believer in theories Byrne presents. Formally educated, multi-talented and ambitious, she would not be one to abandon her senses for something others might describe as touchy-feely nonsense. You cannot simply achieve goals just by wishing! Clearly, one must have the basic ingredients of success in order for this to work (some people are indeed
more endowed with drive, motivation, and unwavering conviction than others). When you combine those basic ingredients with positive thinking, great things can happen and dreams come true!

My friend is living her charmed life as a TV shopping host. She followed her dream all the way from San Antonio, Texas to Westchester, by way of New Orleans. A determined woman, I would say! She told me she started by visualizing herself on the set, promoting products and refining her technique. She even posted notes around her home reminding her of her dream! But she didn’t stop there; she wrapped packages and boxed items to be shipped, totally transforming herself into who she was trying to become. In October 2011, her dream became a reality! Now I can tell you she has what it takes – not everyone could do what she does. But the point is her transformation, her journey, her strength of unwavering character and commitment. Lunch was great and her company delightful, but her story was so inspiring!

At a time when so many have lost hope and are struggling just to get through their day, let’s take a page from my friend’s book and see if fulfilling your dream is within each. I will confess to having great parking karma, and I have read both “The Secret” and “The Power”! Give it a try, shift your paradigm – hell, throw it to the ground and break it, what is there to lose! You just might fulfill your dream and transform yourself along the journey!

Bob Paff

Get Empowered and informed with Bob’s Motivations, Inspirations, Advice and Updates

Folks, it’s not rocket science, and this is one of those tips you can incorporate immediately, then sit back and watch what happens. Maybe your phone will ring off the hook, or maybe you’ll discover that romance that has eluded you. There are endless possibilities, without a doubt!

So – no need to drag this out – here’s what you do: Post a picture of yourself on every social media site that allows one (or two, or three, or more!). Post audio and video if the site allows. Listen, this is coming from a guy who, when he hears the words “cut and paste,” has to admit to only knowing how to spell them! But I play to my strengths, which is why I am telling you to get out that Polaroid – though everything is digital these days – snap that shot, and post it! Do it now! Oh, one caveat, friends: no pictures with your dog, your kids (unless you own a daycare), or your grandmother. No pictures of the ocean, thinking you’ll meditate your clients directly to you – please, don’t do it! If this is for your dating site, really don’t do it. People want to see whom they are doing business with, whom they are going to the movies with Friday night and whom they are buying from or selling to!

I would love to sit here and wait for all of you to upload and post. Wow, that sounded so technical coming from me! But I have to go update my own shots so you know who’s writing this. Shoot me an e-mail to keep me posted on your progress. Or, better yet, if you see me on the street, let me know how it’s working for you – tell us all!

To your success,

Bob Paff

Get Empowered and informed with Bob’s Motivations, Inspirations, Advice and Updates

Your champion could come in the form of a co-worker, colleague or neighbor that needs a shoulder to cry on, a hug to know you care, or a sympathetic ear for when the world seems dark, grey, hopeless and overwhelming. We never truly know the impact we can have on the lives of others by just expressing a little care, understanding, compassion, sympathy, empathy or even silence. They say silence is a great indicator of truth, as it does indeed tell us many things and allows us to draw conclusions that may or may not suit our purpose.

In a world of too much stress, too little time, too few resources, and these days, too little hope, be the beacon that someone needs, their light at the end of the tunnel. While an act of kindness might take a few minutes, making that call, sending that e-mail or giving that hug could make a world of difference to a lost, troubled soul trying to right their path. And how wonderful to know your seemingly insignificant gesture can last a lifetime! Perhaps you can recall a story of your own, a time in your life when someone picked up your overwhelming professional or personal baggage and carried it a few blocks for you, or maybe you did the good deed for someone else.

If you don’t have a champion, if you long to be someone’s HERO, I’m asking you to dust off and wear that cape today. Someone is out there, needing, wanting, longing and hoping for you to brighten their day, to put a little hope and sunshine into their tomorrow. Go ahead, pick your favorite superhero and pretend for just one day you can leap the tallest building in a single bound, run faster than a locomotive, or jump higher than the greatest athlete! Someone is waiting for your autograph!

Bob Paff

While many of you who know me understand that I am a spiritual guy, having a deep and abiding faith, I’m not good at Scripture and Verse. I simply hope and try to lead a life of significance by Improving and Empowering the lives of others I encounter on a daily basis. In spite of the battle scars and heartache, I am where I am suppose to be in this life, mine is not to ask why!

Someone just asked me yesterday on my first webinar with Copper Services/Convey, what is my life’s Mantra? A thought-provoking question that surprisingly I have never been asked, at least not that I can recall. After a brief but not uncomfortable pause I said, ” To empower the lives of others ” to be the best they can be. While I am no more capable of doing this than anyone else, I do try on a daily basis to bring it to a Conscious and Proactive level. If I can touch one life today, it’s one more then the day before!

You too can do this even if your motivation is self driven to improve your bottom line, it’s truly okay as long as no one is hurt in the process and you have created that significance. Today, tomorrow and forever more, catch someone doing something right or show them how it’s done!

Where’s Your Significance?

Quite simply, we’re taking a lesson from the Ronald Reagan Handbook of surrounding yourself with great people. While Reagan was known as The Great Communicator, no doubt in part to his experience as an actor, he was never known for his off-the-chart intellect, like a Bill Clinton, Jimmy Carter or Barack Obama. One of the keys to great leadership – and Reagan was truly one of the best leaders of our time – is to have the self-confidence to surround yourself with people smarter than you in your areas of
weakness. Why, you might ask, does this take courage? We live in a world where everyone is competing. The fear is, if I promote you as good at something, does that make me bad at the same task? If I promote you, who’s going to promote me?

Strong leaders recognize that they cannot possibly be all things to all people, nor would they ever try. They don’t have to be. What they have to be are strong leaders, and few can assume that task successfully! Remember what Jack Welch said in his Big Six: “Don’t manage, lead.” By surrounding yourself with the best and promoting others, you exude confidence, sending a clear message of who is in charge and that only the best and brightest need apply. My son Taylor tells his friends that if they want to work with me, “my dad does not do stupid or lazy.” Few can carry the mantle of strong leadership. In a recent interview, Ron Paul said he doesn’t see himself in the Oval Office, nor does he expect to win the nomination. His campaign is, in part, all about establishing a platform, effecting change.

So, how do you promote others? You’ve all heard of the “snowball effect.” The idea is that once something takes hold, the words, ideas, and plan gain momentum and soon increase in power and commitment. It’s one thing to call and ask someone how you can help them, but it’s entirely another to take the matter into your own hands by promoting or celebrating someone. Know anyone who is so good at what they do that you want to shout it to the world? What’s holding you back? If you know someone who writes, speaks, teaches or coaches about something that would be of tremendous value to a friend, client or prospect, promote that person to others! When I’m paid a compliment for adding value to someone’s life, I like to say, “don’t keep me a secret.” Does this make us self-absorbed or altruistic? I think the latter, but for fear of rejection or fear of perception, we don’t do this often enough.

I want you to do this. Do you have a website, Facebook page, social club, client list, newsletter, through which you can promote someone else? When I produced a
newsletter years back, we always had a “Client’s Corner,” where we would salute one of our clients or prospects. How flattered would your clients be if you asked to celebrate them, just because they are good at what they do! Wow, what a simple concept, just simply not done. So go ahead, start now. Start paying it forward. Blast the word through all your viral (and not-so-viral) outlets that you are here to share and celebrate a success story.

Don’t Keep Me A Secret!

Bob Paff