{"id":1144,"date":"2012-03-05T11:45:24","date_gmt":"2012-03-05T16:45:24","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/bobpaff.com\/?p=1144"},"modified":"2012-04-27T08:44:20","modified_gmt":"2012-04-27T12:44:20","slug":"broken-families","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bobpaff.com\/?p=1144","title":{"rendered":"Broken Families"},"content":{"rendered":"

While George Huguely V<\/a>, Robert Richardson III<\/a> and T.J. Lane<\/a> lived worlds apart \u2013\u00a0socially, economically and geographically \u2013 they shared one undeniable bond: all three
\nwere the victims of broken homes. I imagine social workers are having a field day with\u00a0the amount of historical data about these three families and the clear line leading the\u00a0boys\u2019 violent behavior back to the familial loss they had experienced.<\/p>\n

In Huguely\u2019s case, it appears loneliness, anger and rage were drowned out by generations\u00a0of money and excess privilege. It was nearly impossible to read a story about this kid\u00a0without hearing about his drunken binges \u2013 binges clearly not capable of drowning\u00a0out the loss he had been feeling for years, beyond the reach of his estranged parents.\u00a0That loss, anger, and behavior continued to be ignored as Huguely proudly walked the\u00a0hallowed halls of the University of Virginia. Where were his teachers, counselors, friends\u00a0and enemies while this troubled young man was out of control? Does the privilege extend\u00a0to ignoring inappropriate and ultimately violent behavior until it becomes too late, and\u00a0incarceration and looking back are the only options?<\/p>\n

There are many more than two losses here, two families destroyed. While they say\u00a0children expect to bury their parents, it is a parent\u2019s worst nightmare to bury his\/her child. \u00a0As the father of six children myself, I cannot imagine the daily horror Sharon Love and\u00a0her family must face. Lexie says the pain of knowing she will never see her sister\u2019s face\u00a0again causes her physical pain.<\/p>\n

For the Huguelys, not only must they live with this reminder, but they must accept part of\u00a0the blame. Yeardley\u2019s family will never see her graduate college, they\u2019ll never see her get\u00a0married, they\u2019ll never celebrate the birth of her children. Truth be told, many people are\u00a0now second-guessing the Huguelys\u2019 lack of intervention.<\/p>\n

Clear across to the middle of the country \u2013 a place known for its solid Midwestern gentility, where many people still leave their doors unlocked at night, and where neighbors look out for neighbors \u2013 we have another senseless shooting at a high school. \u00a0T.J. Lane was, by all accounts, a loner, haunted too by the demons of his youth, lacking\u00a0the ability and resources to reach out for help, and finally getting the attention he sought\u00a0in that high school cafeteria.<\/p>\n

Because this tragedy is so new, new information is constantly unfolding. We do know\u00a0Lane\u2019s anger and lack of self-control have now resulted in a third loss of innocent life.\u00a0Again, where were the adults, the teachers, counselors, neighbors, or church members? \u00a0Do we live in a blind world, believing things like this only happen to other people? We\u00a0should now realize it can and does happen, anywhere \u2013 we\u2019ve just become immune to the\u00a0reality. We live in \u201csound byte society,\u201d one in which this tragedy will soon be replaced\u00a0by another.<\/p>\n

And finally, we heard about the tragedy of a young, reclusive high school boy in\u00a0Maryland who killed his father after suffering abuse from his father for years. Going to\u00a0school in dirty, tattered clothing that he slept in the night before; the loud screaming and\u00a0violence neighbors heard coming from the motherless home \u2013 there appear to be many\u00a0things at play here in the breakdown of the family.<\/p>\n

A loss, compounded by the economy, and a lack of human value and identity. A father so\u00a0full of anger that he repeatedly took it out, physically and emotionally, on his own flesh\u00a0and blood. The irony is how the community has rallied around this young boy, the true\u00a0victim in this senseless and preventable tragedy. One must ask, however, where was this\u00a0community while this tragedy was playing out?<\/p>\n

The truth is no one knows what goes on behind closed doors, and to some extent we\u00a0are all living in our own personal hells; whether imposed by others or self-inflicted, we\u00a0are too rightfully and justifiably caught up in our own worlds. When the preventable,\u00a0needless losses all elude us, the reflection begins \u2013 at least until the next tragedy crosses\u00a0the screen of our living room or family room television.<\/p>\n

In my thoughts and words, these boys were victims of the breakdown of the family\u00a0unit \u2013 an unwillingness or inability to rise above the crises of life, the pressure and\u00a0complications of wanting it all or barely having enough to get by. At the end of the day,\u00a0aren\u2019t the tragedies all the same? You see, neither great wealth nor abject poverty,\u00a0Huguelys, Richardsons and Lanes all accounted for, can erase this apparent reality of\u00a0life. Sadly, we\u2019re all the victims here, as it\u2019s a testament to the American culture we have\u00a0come too easily to accept.<\/p>\n

Bob Paff<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

While George Huguely V, Robert Richardson III and T.J. Lane lived worlds apart \u2013 socially, economically and geographically \u2013 they shared one undeniable bond: all three were the victims of broken homes.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[29],"tags":[37],"class_list":["post-1144","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-from-bobs-desk","tag-linkedin"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/bobpaff.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1144","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/bobpaff.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/bobpaff.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bobpaff.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bobpaff.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1144"}],"version-history":[{"count":29,"href":"https:\/\/bobpaff.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1144\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1172,"href":"https:\/\/bobpaff.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1144\/revisions\/1172"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/bobpaff.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1144"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bobpaff.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1144"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bobpaff.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1144"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}