I want to talk about sex. Why is it that even without using the four-letter word, we bristle, become embarrassed and clam up whenever the topic is approached? Have you ever asked yourself that? How frequently do you talk about sex with your partner, your friends, your children, or your parents? Why is the subject so forbidden? Sex is merely another form of communication. Don’t we want our conversations about sex to be effective, successful and fulfilling? If they were, I think we’d have more sex, better sex, and more meaningful sex.
After two failed marriages and a two-year sabbatical from dating after my last marriage ended, not only have I had time to ponder this as part of my overall platform, but that time has allowed me to clear my head and become even more convinced of one thing: effective communication about sex can lead to greater communication in other areas of your life, including your career and your relationships with others! Personally and not embarrassed to say, that’s one of our problems. I’m having the best sex of my life, free of all the inhibitions that cloud and break down our communication. It took me 52 years, and I don’t want you to wait that long!
Why don’t we discuss sex? Why is it that if we discussed it, we would be more effective communicators? You see, there are two fears that drive all human emotion: the fear of rejection and the fear of embarrassment. We don’t dare ask for what we think we might not receive, nor what would cause us great humiliation. Suppose I express my deepest, darkest sexual desires; they need not be outlandish or fetish in any way, just something I want but have never ask for. If I never ask, I don’t have to fear the two monsters rearing their ugly heads. I’m safe… but am I? Do those desires go away, or do they live on into all my relationships, personal and professional?
If we are able to discuss, in a safe, open environment, these most personal desires, I’m convinced we can discuss anything. Fear of rejection and embarrassment erased, opening the floodgates for more effective communication across all platforms. Take this two-day challenge (though it may be more fun if you take it for two weeks). Sit down with your spouse or partner, or your closest friend, and talk about sex. Are you having enough of it? Is it what you want? Just as important, is it what your partner wants? Are you secretly looking outside your relationship, with the option of an affair just a ticking time bomb? I believe this can be prevented with one simple discussion about sex.
Try it, and let me know!
To Your Sex and Your Success!
Bob Paff
Communications Expert
Communicating To Win, LLC
I fully agree, sex is very important in our lives , it is somehow a part of our daily bread; without sex communications the world is at an end…It’s how to follow the pattern of living sex as a supplement to our daily need. I am certain that sex is part of our physical need. Without sex our body is not materialize to become useful in this cruel world…
Hi Bob, thanks for this post.
You are so right. Funnily enough, my own research indicates that *most* of us have ‘unusual’ or unconventional sexual desires, wants or fantasies. Yet we don’t talk about them.
Why were we all created to be such sexually diverse beings? The logical answer is, to keep things interesting! If we can embrace that diversity and celebrate it – and yes, as you say, talk about it – then sex gets better, more varied, more passionate. And typically, people don’t feel tempted to stray if they’re getting wild, passionate, deeply connected sex at home. I say, kinky sex? Bring it on!
Thanks for this post and for connecting with me on my Facebook page. It’s always good to hear from someone who’s on the same page.
Delicious topic.