Have we really become so insensitive and unkind that we need books to tell us how and why to be nice? Linda Kaplan Thaler and Robin Koval wrote a book a few years back called, The Power of Nice, How to Conquer the Business World with Kindness. Thaler and Koval run a successful New York Advertising Agency called The Kaplan Thaler Group. Our own local, celebrity agent and attorney Ron Shapiro wrote a similar book called, The Power of Nice: How to Negotiate So Everyone Wins, Especially You! The Thaler Koval book is a total of 127 pages, including the the index in the back! Not Rocket Science but powerful in its simplicity none the less.
I’m reminded of that other expression we overlook, “Common Things Not Commonly Done”. Their power house New York Agency represents the rich and powerful like Donald Trump. Thaler talks about getting Trump’s business because they were “nice” to wife #3, or maybe it was #2, who can keep up with The Donald! While I do recommend you read this book I think you can get the same results by just doing what your grandmother told you years ago. Do your job and put a smile on that face! Did you know it takes more effort and is more detrimental to your health to frown rather then smile? Now that alone is enough incentive to start now.
For those of you saying, okay Bob, what about the bottom line, let’s look at the results of NICE. Nice people are luckier in love, Nice makes money, Nice is healthier, Nice spends less time in court. Remember the study of doctors who apologize for their mistakes being sued less frequently then their defiant colleagues? Renowned authors like Daniel Goleman (Primal Leadership) and Malcolm Gladwell (The Power of Thinking Without Thinking) all have done research to support the facts that Nice people in general fair better then those less civil and pleasant! A University of Michigan study shows that those who are good neighbors, friends, volunteers have a 60% lower rate of premature death. Now we’re getting serious! Do we think of Nice as a life or death option?? Friends, I know there is something here for all of us. If your motivated by money, greed, power, living, you want to start being Nice……………….now!
So if the studies, books, famous authors and speakers tell us to play nice boys and girls, why don’t we do it? Seems to me to be an easy home run. You don’t need an advanced degree, or a degree at all, to be successful at this one. No face lift, liposuction, exercise routine, counting calories, late night studying, you get the picture! We know that for something to become habit forming we must do it 1000 times or for 6 months. Here’s my challenge. As I said before, start NOW, start TODAY. Pick a number you can handle on a daily basis and find things you can do to show your NICENESS!
I tell my audiences, do 10 nice things every day. For example, simple yet very effective, tell someone you like a particular color on them, that’s a great outfit, how can I help you today? Walk in the other man or woman’s shoes. Treat someone to lunch, make someone else look good today. Give the credit away! Attend a religious service. Surround yourself with NICE PEOPLE! Who wants to be with the downers? Life is challenging enough without more negative energy.
Give your employees the Nice Challenge. Incent them for being nice to your customers! Imagine that, we have to create incentives to be nice. Children do it innately. Maybe we should all act like children! No, that won’t work, too many adults do that already, with less then stellar consequences! I do think if we were a kinder, gentler society, always put the other guy/gal first, we would be more prosperous, less defensive, certainly less stressed out. What we do is just simply not working. Let’s give NICE a try. Change happens one person at a time, one country at a time, one business at a time. Fact is that in any relationship, if one person changes, the dynamics of the relationship change. While you cannot change or control others, you have absolute power to change YOU! What are you waiting for? Be NICE to me and let me know how this is working for you, good or bad. Tell me your struggles to be nice. Bob, I just cannot do it! Maybe your grandmother was nice but mine was a tyrant. Okay, so you have more work to do, but you can get…………………..
Be Nice in the sandbox of life!